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| Twins in Bumbos they hardly used |
Recently an old friend of mine asked for my thoughts on which baby items she might need. She is 6 months pregnant with her first child and starting to think about the products she will want to purchase or make before baby’s arrival. I’ll admit it – whilst pregnant with our twins I became somewhat swept up in the indulgence of baby shopping. There seemed to be a long list of essential baby items calling out to me, many of which required a double purchase. I’m ashamed to confess that we spent £2k on a pile of things that mostly weren’t that important. I still have the spreadsheet on the computer... yes I’m one of those list-loving people!
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| Tandem twin pram |
Our biggest purchase/biggest waste of money
Tandem pram, slings x 2, changing bag, changing mat, car seats x 2, car sunshades, cotbeds x2, mattresses x 2, fitted sheets, flat sheets, cot blankets, pram blankets, sleeping bags, blackout blinds, sheepskin rugs, mobile, room thermometer, night light, room monitor, cotton wool, barrier cream, nappies, breast pump, breast pads, nursing bras, breast pump bottles, feeding pillow, muslin squares, nipple cream, steriliser, baby bath, bath support, baby oil, baby thermometer, baby nail scissors, vests – long arms, vests – short arms, sleepsuits, cardigans, hats, mittens, snowsuits, socks, books, playgym, baby bouncers x 2..................I could go on!
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| Twins in stretchy slings |
11 weeks old - first time outdoors in their slings
The big purchase – a pram. Now, this pram was the only tandem on the market at the time that allowed both babies to lie flat as opposed to being in a restrictive carseat or upright chair. It cost over £600, bought for us by my parents, and we ended up using it less than 20 times. It still sits in the garage. Thankfully we had also bought stretchy slings, and the boys were much happier to be carried. Looking back, I cannot really understand why I considered it appropriate to strap our precious newborn cargo almost a metre away from me while taking them for a walk. I was certainly influenced by the marketing, but in the end the slings easily outshone 4 wheels. The boys soon let me know that they strongly objected to the pram. Baby-wearing seemed like a great idea but I wasn’t sure how I’d manage with twins. To begin with, I gave a sling and a baby to daddy/a friend/my mum if I was out with them so we each held one. Around the house, I held one in a sling, one in my arms and had one hand free to get on with things. Once the boys were sturdier, I felt confident enough to carry them front and back using a different sort of sling called a mei-tei, and it was surprisingly comfortable! For premature babies, I believe that babywearing can help with the task of emotional recovery, and perhaps it is even more important for twins who often yearn for reassurance.
Hugo being carried by Ma-ma
The breast pump – Why do many pregnant mums who are keen to breastfeed their child think that expressing milk with a machine is part of the deal? In our case, I benefitted from using a pump while our boys were being tube fed expressed breastmilk in NICU, but I used the hospital grade pump loaned out to me. By the time I brought the boys home, I never wanted to see a pump again and would much rather hand express if ever necessary. I did try “topping up” with expressed milk at a time when I doubted my milk supply was adequate, but they didn’t enjoy the experience of bottle feeding, and I should have trusted my own body and mammals in general! We were soon back to exclusive breast-feeding and my supply was of course fine. Pumps can be useful, but not something to buy ahead of the time! I remember reading in The Politics of Breastfeeding, that 6 million pumps are sold each year in the USA, but only half this number of women start breastfeeding. The manufacturers must be laughing. What a waste of money!
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| Breastfeeding twins |
Far quicker than making up bottles
The cotbed – Thankfully we bought the larger option because by the time the boys were outgrowing the family double bed, they would have been too big for a cot. During the pregnancy, I found Tom a copy of The Continuum Concept by Jean Liedloff, as a way of understanding and healing some feelings he had about his own childhood. It was a book I had heard tell of through some “attachment parenting” support boards that I had stumbled across, and it had a huge impact on our outlook. It has taken me this long to comprehend and appreciate many of the ideas! Tom felt compelled by attachment parenting philosophies from the outset, and encouraged me to discover more. Our first step was to keep our babies close, day and night, so C + H slept in our bed from their first night out of NICU. We still share a bedroom with them, and are accustomed to a great deal of sleepy bed-swapping. It has been wonderfully healing for them, and makes total sense to us: providing comfort, facilitating night time breastfeeding, and enabling everyone to get a good(ish) night’s sleep!
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| Twins co-sleeping |
So, baby essentials for Rupert? Wrap sling, warm wool blanket, carseat (rear-facing for as long as possible), nappies etc. (although if we ever have another baby, I’d like to go nappy free as much as possible) and some simple clothes made from natural fibres. A few other things have proved useful too. My birthing ball is rather handy - I use it to bounce him to sleep each night if he doesn’t want to doze off whilst nursing. I’m sure it won’t be long before a large baby retailer gets their marketing team onto the idea!
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