Co-sleeping with twins and a baby

Twins sharing an incubator

When our twins were in hospital for the first two months of their lives outside the womb, they were housed in incubators and those awful plastic cots that hospitals have been using for decades.  I remember watching new mums on the post natal ward wheeling their newborns around in these, since they weren’t allowed to carry them through the ward.   Even before we had boarded the attachment parenting boat, this seemed abnormal and certainly did nothing to encourage mother-baby bonding.  Our boys were literally joined to their cots by all of the tubes and wires needed to monitor their health.  How could we keep them feeling secure and comforted in this harsh environment?  We soon realised that twins feel a lot more snug and secure when they can remain in contact with each other.

Sleeping soundly with a comforting touch

It makes perfect sense doesn't it?  They had grown together from being a tiny ball of cells, constantly aware of each other’s presence.  Their whole world had suddenly changed at their moments of birth, and the biggest change was that they had been left alone.  No baby can cope with isolation, least of all twins or multiples.  The touch, smell and feel of their brother’s movements again must have been extremely reassuring.  Lying together, their heart rate stabilised and they had fewer apnoeas (where they stopped breathing).

Mummy learning to keep them close

We had read all about the benefits of kangaroo care, but it wasn’t until they were around 31 weeks gestation that they found our cuddles soothing.  Before that time I think it was too stimulating, too painful and too exhausting for them.  They eventually spent most of their day being held or sleeping together on a big twin feeding pillow that I had bought.  It probably helped my milk supply to have them close, and helped us all bond and feel like a family for the first time.  I learnt through this experience that these babies simply didn’t like to be put down.  When I put them in their cots, their heart rate became erratic, their breathing irregular and they had more frequent apnoea episodes, sometimes requiring resuscitation. 

Twins sleeping on the nursing pillow

A few days before we could bring the twins home, we stayed with them in a family flat at the hospital.   It was mainly to monitor us/them and make sure that they were still putting on weight whilst being exclusively breastfed (the feeding tubes were finally removed, hurrah!).  Our first night alone with them, and they were sleeping in those plastic cots.  “Come on” says Tom “Let’s bring them into the bed”.  We placed them safely in bed with us, and never looked back.  You can find out about safe co-sleeping here. 

Which brings me to the present day...  C + H still sleep in our bedroom, in bed they share together.  They are welcome into the ‘big bed’ whenever they want, and Daddy ends up in their bed almost every night.  It’s wonderful to have a family bedroom.  The boys are comforted easily, they feel safe and secure, they always have someone next to them when they wake up, we get to wake up to bright smiling faces, we all generally get a better night’s sleep, it makes night time feeding/changing far simpler, and I believe it is where children expect (in the biological sense) to be!  In fact, for as long as humans may naturally breastfeed, sleeping together at night is surely the biological norm?

Still together - the boys tonight

However, recently R has started trying to wake his brothers up!  Like many 8 month old babies, he wakes up in the night.  Often it’s just to feed and go back to sleep, but occasionally at 3am he feels that his day has begun.  And his day isn’t the same without the presence of his very own comedy duo, his big brothers.  Cue lots of calling and shouting at them to come to life before Tom or I manage to wake up enough to sneak out of the room with him!  Sometimes it works the other way, and the boys are so excited to have a peek at the sleeping baby in the morning, that he overhears them and joyfully wakes up.  I don’t like any of them to lose sleep unnecessarily, so it has got me thinking about when the right time will be to offer the boys a room of their own.  I’m not sure how much it will help the sleep situation, which has actually been a lot better this week anyway.  Like with many things, we’ll ponder over the idea for quite some time, probably too long, before deciding on a plan!