Stability

When, back at university, Syenna and I decided that having a family was the life for us, we thought only about when would be the best point in our lives to try and do this.  This left us with a choice:

1. Start as soon as we finish university

2. Have a career (each) first

Now, most people seem to choose number 2.  It's the sensible option.  There is the chance to secure yourself in a job, buy a house and earn a reasonable income.  This means that you might be able to afford private education, fantastic holidays and millions of other opportunities for your young family. 

However, we considered that parenting may be hard work, and so best tackled when you are younger and fresher.  Plus, from looking at internet forums and from research elsewhere, we saw how difficult it could be to actually have children, and a race against the (biological) clock seemed a stressful way to start a family.

So, we chose number 1.  Syenna chose it because it gave us the best chance of actually having a family, and also gave our (potential) children the best chance of a healthy life (chromosomal disorders and the like being more probable as the parents age).  I chose it mainly because number 2 was the sensible option.

It wasn't the smoothest path to starting our parenting journey, but we're here and I have no doubts that we chose correctly.  We are exhausted all of the time, but probably less so than we would be if we tried the same in 15 years.  We have never had the chance to get used to hoards of disposable income and so get caught up with buying the latest gadgets, going on holiday or whatever people do with it.  And, we still have the option of having more children, now or when H,C and R are a bit older (although difficult to imagine coping with any more children at present!)

current house

first house

second house

But just as H&C always opt for a 'mixture' when eating cereal, I can't help but wonder what it would be like if we had the pros of both choices.  A stable career, a house and a family.  At work, my contract runs out in October of this year and although I may be able to stay on, nothing is guaranteed.  And so, I have been looking around at other jobs, and houses near to those.  It would mean living in our 4th house since H&C were born but I would be able to continue my career, which is probably the least stressful path.  If I didn't have children, I would be raring to go; anything to climb that ladder!  But now, I have a different perspective.  I just want to settle down and embed myself somewhere.  I want to feel as if I belong, and give our children the chance to feel like that too.